It’s all going to be okay.

I keep telling myself this as my mind is flooded with thoughts of, “I should be doing ____ more often,” or, “Judson needs to learn how to ____,” or, “Have I been doing enough of ____?”

I think as mothers, we tend to be really hard on ourselves. We want the absolute best for our kiddos. We want to spend all of our waking hours devoted to keeping them entertained, clean, well-fed, educated and happy. But sometimes the day gets away with one (or more) of those areas left unmastered. And needless to say, there is the whole subject of SELF care that goes unmastered on a daily basis most of the time.

When your baby comes into the world, your own self becomes less of a priority. I think it’s a natural part of motherhood. A good mother needs to be okay with being selfless. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of yourself, it just means your priorities change for a while. A season of taking care of others. A season that doesn’t last forever. And a season where it’s all the more important for others to step into your shoes to give you a chance to do something for yourself as often as they can.

After our 9 month check-up, I left the pediatrician’s office excited but also strangely burdened. Man oh man does a LOT happen when your baby turns 9 months old. He should be crawling, starting to pull up on furniture, sleeping through the night, eating meat and dairy and picking up food and eating it. ALL of which Judson does not do yet. It was fun to hear of all his developmental changes that will be taking place very soon, but I felt the heavy wave of change hit me. He will be mobile soon, so we need to baby proof the cabinets and drawers. He should be eating most foods now, so I will have to prepare more food for him. He eats well but takes forever to do it himself, so I will have to schedule more time for meals. He needs to learn how to sleep by himself in the crib, but right now he has no idea why I’m trying to change his sleep routine, and I’m sure thinks I’m trying to torture him. Let’s face it, it’s torture for both of us.

All of these new milestones are a normal part of being a growing baby, but I’m struggling to adapt to the mothering side of it. Judson is such a great baby and I love him so much that it’s debilitating at times. But some of these new changes are taking it out of me. I just want to eat my lunch in 8 minutes and go back to cleaning or watching Netflix or planning the next meal. But I have to patiently wait while Judson attempts to eat whatever food I can put on his tray.

Ahh, looking forward to when we master some of these new things!